Friday, October 26, 2007

Czech fine artists

I don’t know why, but the CZECH FINE ARTISTS came to mind.
It´s some three years ago now I was in a bar with a man from the consulate. He was complaining that some stupid painters were coming from Czech to do an exhibition in Lidice(little brazilian village named the same as the czech one burned down to the ground by the nazis), and sent him a message to find paints for them. He said he couldn’t find exactly what they wanted, so he was wasting a lot of time and therefore had to catch up with his regular work at night because the operation of the entire office relied on him.

When I went for a beer with him a week later, he was holding his head because he still hadn’t found the paints they wanted.
Yet after another week I dined with the Czech consul and was told that the CZECH FINE ARTISTS had already arrived. Instead of saying "hi" to the man who eventually found the paints for them, they said they wanted to go to the waterfalls, requested that he find them plane tickets and also buy them some canvas and brushes because they didn’t bring any. Others, who were pouring out of the plane, yelled at him to arrange a trip to the capital.
Meanwhile, the entire population of Lidice including its mayor was waiting for them. The village had been getting ready for the happening for months.
The CZECH FINE ARTISTS divided into two groups. One group went to the waterfalls, the other to the capital. The Czech consul went to Lidice to smooth out the whole situation.
Two more weeks passed by, during which I didn’t pay much attention to the affair, even though I had heard some petty complains from the consulate people that the CZECH FINE ARTISTS were not willing to walk but had to have constantly at their disposition a car with a driver, and a bunch of other stupid bullshit.
I didn’t like what I was hearing but it still didn’t touch me personally. Until last week, when I went to see the closing private viewing of the CZECH FINE ARTISTS.
I entered the room where the exhibit was taking place, and I saw them right away: cells on their belts, American style goatees, grizzled hair, copulators…
They have exhibits around the entire world, George’s successful in Germany, Fanny ‘likes girls and they like him,’ Jesus Christ, what a bunch of fucking assholes, I was still mumbling to myself even now just thinking about them.
The MAIN CZECH FINE ARTIST took the floor then.
“I would like to thank the ambassador, the consulate, the ministry of foreign affairs… the company Toys of our Boys, Bruno who sells hot dogs and salami, and others and others, for example the firm Fabric and Stitches… thanks to whom we were able to take this trip.”
The interpreter couldn’t believe her eyes, or ears.
“I would like to also say right in the beginning that our journey was one big success.” This time it was me who couldn’t believe his eyes when looking at the painted pieces of shit hanging on the walls.
“Now, I would like to solemnly announce that each of us, the CZECH FINE ARTISTS, have decided to donate for free two of his works to the village of LIDICE. THE VALUE OF EACH PAIR IS, JUST OUT OF CURIOSITY, HMMM, MHHH, fifty thousand reals.
I dropped my fucking jaw. The air left my lungs and nothing else was coming in. The audience was staring on the daubs on the wall, then the applause came.
My eyes were roaming from the painters to their pictures and back. IT CAN’T BE POSSIBLE, HOW THE FUCK DID THESE FUCKING ASSHOLES COME UP WITH THAT PRICE!!!!
One can buy a house with a garden for fifty thousand reals in this country…
“We were on TV already three times and twice in the newspaper,” I heard somebody talking big.
I left. I COULDN’T STAND IT ONE MORE MINUTE! I was trembling in fury! I ran out of the building, people were turning to see what was going on. I felt a sharp pain by my heart. Breath deep, breath deep, I told myself when running out.
It was midnight, I went to the beach, where the Czech newspapers say there is always some shooting going on. I sat down on the sand and watched the waves. I felt I might start crying.

Eight or ten fucking assholes went on a trip paid by the government and this is how they conduct themselves. I couldn’t believe such things were possible.

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