Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Vaclav Klaus(The Czech president)Likes to Be Photographed

“Angela, I’ll strangle him to death with my own hands!”
“Calm down, George, calm down… why are you so upset?!”
“Always, ALWAYS when they are taking my pictures, this weird type suddenly appears next to me!”

“Which one? That one with the mustache?”

“Yeah, him, he’s driving me nuts!”

“Ha, I know him, he’s really annoying.”

“Once he tried to get inside the White House. I told them, purposely, to piss him off, to let that ‘Slovak’ in. But he wasn’t offended. He squeezed himself in and started pestering me!”

“Calm down, Mr. President, shhh…”

“No, I won’t calm down, I’m trying to solve the Iraq thing, terrorism, and the Middle East, and he keeps rambling on about the gross national product!”

“Hmm… George, you’re talking too loud!”

“What do you mean loud? I want him to hear it – maybe he’ll finally leave me alone!”

“Mr. President, Mr. President, look at the camera, just like this, Mr. President!”

“I CAN’T BELIEVE IT! It’s like when I was a little kid and my mother was always comparing me with the biggest NERD!”

“Ha, ha, yes, yes, I tried to talked to him the other day when he said that global warming isn’t caused by people, but when he picked up the phone, he was speaking Russian and said he was in Mongolia, so I gave up.”

“Now he’s coming to me because of tourist visa. VISA!!! I have to deal with the North Korean nuclear arsenal and this fellow wants me to repeal tourist visas for Czechs. And then he’s pestering me about the weak dollar. I DON’T KNOW WHY THE DOLLAR IS WEAK!”

“Shhh, Mr. President, shhh…”

“Mr. President, look at the camera, just like I DO!”

“NO, NO, NO! I must be dreaming!”

“Well, promise him something and he’ll leave you alone.”

“Impossible. If I promise him something, he’ll have always an excuse to visit me!”

“Hmm… that’s true. Looking at him, it won’t be easy. They say he’s supposed to be in office two more years… Hang on, did you say gross national product?”

“Yes, he always starts with something else but always steers it slowly back to that product thing.”

“I just remembered that when I talked to the most important Czech economist…”

“Wait, which one?… I have to write his name down.”

“Well, I think his name is Komarek.”

“Shhh, Mrs. Chancellor… shhh.”

“Could you, Mrs. Chancellor, look at the camera just like I DO!”

“I’m fainting!”

“George, hang on… he is pretty funny.”

“And what about that Kejmar?”

“Komarek… he used to be Fidel’s advisor.”


“And he also used to head some kind of organization where this one was too. He told me that he would spend half of every day trying to settle disputes that this one was always creating – supposedly he would insult everybody, the reason being that gross product thing.”

“I can’t believe it. Fidel, GDP, nuclear weapons, visas… my head is spinning.”

“I really, really want to ask you to look finally at the camera, just like I DO!”

“Angela, help me… please.”

“Calm down, George… I will look at the camera, Mr. President, WHEN I WANT TO!”

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